COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . . . . .



65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
Minnesotans plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
Minnesotans drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats.
Minnesotans throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Minnesotans the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
Minnesotans get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
Minnesotans let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.(and by the way, Charlotte had toga day the day it was 30 below)

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
Minnesotans start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late